My name is Emma, I’m 37, I live in Gateshead and I had an addiction to codeine. 

I suffer from chronic migraines and would take codeine to cope with the pain, as it would allow me to ‘function’ on a daily basis. I did this whilst I was in between specialist migraine treatment and on sick leave from my current job at the time because my migraines were so intense.  

There was an incident in July 2023 where I was caught taking money from my neighbour, who was a very good friend. At the time I was not in my own mind, but I refused to admit to myself that I had a problem. All I could think was ‘I’ve got no codeine and no cash in the house’. This set off a downward spiral of events which would lead to my marriage breaking down, friends turning against me, threats from other neighbours, losing my job with the police and then an attempt to harm myself. Because of all of this, I was forced to admit that I had an addiction to codeine. Having confided everything to my GP, he told me to refer myself to Gateshead Recovery Partnership, which I started in August 2023.

I met my keyworker Jane, who was so supportive and made me feel comfortable and at ease. I was able to fully talk about everything in a safe, non-judgmental space. She advised me that she thought I would benefit from attending the Foundations to Recovery course, as this would allow me to process and cope with the after-effects of my addiction.

I’ve been able to use the safe space that these groups have given me to talk about my thoughts, fears, and goals. Most importantly, I have been able to address my mistake in a non-judgmental place and learn it is okay for me to forgive myself and move forward. I graduated from this course in November 2023.

I started working with my IPS specialist, Caitlin Flynn in December 2023. We discussed what roles I had previously been in and what my skills and experience were. I was still actively employed with Northumbria Police at the time but was suspended and was due to attend a misconduct hearing, whereby I would be told if my job was at risk or not. On 15th December 2023 I lost my job due to gross misconduct, and although I found it unfair, I chose not to appeal as I thought a new job would be a fresh start and aid me in my recovery journey.

Caitlin told me about an IPS role within Humankind that was becoming available and she thought, based on my real-life skills and experience and having been a service user, that I would be a good fit for the role. Caitlin helped me complete the application form, and along with her manager, Jen Jackson, they talked me through what the role would entail.
I had my interview with Jen, which went really well. However, I was offered the role of Navigator on the Works4U project instead. This role would allow me to help others in similar positions and I would be able to offer my real-life experience in order to assist them in their journey back into employment/training.

Whilst I was waiting for my start date, my IPS specialist changed as Caitlin moved to a new role. I was introduced to Karl Lee, who, like Caitlin, was so supportive and nourishing in my journey back into employment. Karl is now my line manager and he is still very supportive and encouraging as I aim to be successful in my new role.

I have taken full responsibility for my mistake and have dealt with the consequences. I have learnt that in order to move on, I need to forgive myself and learn that it is okay for me to move on from this.

I am not defined by my dependency or the mistake I made when I was suffering silently and didn’t know where to turn for support.

I am in my new property, a new place for a brand-new start. I have learnt new, healthier ways of coping, and I remain determined to implement these into my daily life. I know I am an excellent worker and an excellent mother, and I will continue to be both of these in my future.

I am proud to now be employed by the service that helped me. Working as a Navigator on the Works4U programme, helping those in drug and alcohol recovery to overcome any barriers they may face.